Diary for 17 December, 2025

Justin and Julie-Ann, hopelessly mismatched in love, are about to introduce their respective parents to each other over dinner - Justin's upper-crust alcoholic mother from Surrey and Julie-Ann's bigoted Yorkshire father and prim mother. Enter Paige Petite, a former lap-dancer with suicidal tendencies, who appears on their balcony having dropped from the flat above, followed shortly after by the thick, gun-toting minder employed by her violent boyfriend!